Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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