i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I have feelings that need drinking.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
