I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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