Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
