yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Blood and glitter go together right?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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