There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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