You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Rumble strips road head = magical
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
