He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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