The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Did I show you my penis last night?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
