OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
