I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
