I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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