Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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