yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
