he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
