you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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