i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
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Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
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I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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