We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
