I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
