youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
