We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
