I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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