i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
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