i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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