Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
