yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Redeem this text for a blowjob
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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