I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize