i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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