Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
he was CRYING into my vagina
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
