May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize