There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
