the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
