whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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