he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
