He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
