Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
