it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
