Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
