just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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