I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
