Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
