Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
