Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
