How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
