Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Pants are for mortals
Randomize
