Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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