i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
