all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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