thus making me awesome and them whores
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
either way he was missing a nipple.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
