Sponge bath it is.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
