You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
