I'm really into asian looking animals
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
