I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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