My first STD was from a foam party
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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