Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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