I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
too bad you live with your parents still
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
