I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
