im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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