So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
