can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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