she was so not down for the gang bang
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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