so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
