Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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