Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
