So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
