if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Randomize
