i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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