then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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