how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
