I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
