I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
