she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Your cock deserves a montage
Also, beer. Big fan.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
