I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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