There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
